How We Can Deal With Deprivation and Denial

I’ve noticed that when I feel deprived I am likely to fill the hole of my expectations with another easily achieved desire. For example, if I don’t have enough time and I am feeling pressed to give more energy and attention to others than I feel I have available, I will look to brownies and warm comfort foods to help me feel less deprived. It’s not a great solution, but it is something I do.

It helps to notice what I am feeling deprived of and attempt to make a decision or solution that gives me something to acknowledge that missing piece and gives back to myself. 

We spend a lot of time bouncing back and forth between what we want and what we got, and how we want to fix it. It’s dramatic!

As we give ourselves more options to help soothe ourselves, we can make better decisions, or at least decisions that support our wellbeing more than some of the automatic thoughtless actions. But we need to make sure we aren’t setting ourselves up to fail by making the alternative action more complicated than the unconscious one. Simplicity and understanding of ourselves is essential!

Change takes time, and slow change is still change. It’s OK to appreciate that and judge ourselves less for not being perfect and instantaneously getting over our human disappointments.